LogWanderers-Joe-2

Game log for the 2016/11/13 session of Wanderers, as taken by Joe

Theme Song: Melvins & Lustmord- Pink Bat

Back in the parking lot, Spoonman cuts the hatch off the top of the tanker truck and looks in. There’s someone in there.

Spoonie sees that the boy in the tanker truck has no face. He backs up, jumps off the truck, and shouts “no, no, no!!!” He starts packing shit into his taco truck. “It’s not right. It’s not right!” Rattie tries to calm him down, but Spoonie falls to the ground screaming.

The purple glow lights up the faces of Fifi and Ace as they look down into the tanker. The faceless kid is levitating upward toward them. Fifi and Ace open fire. The boy slides back into the tanker. Ace unloads his magazine. “Why won’t you die?” he cries.

Black goo drips out of the holes in they blew in the bottom of the tank. The goo hisses when it hits the sand. Spoonie keeps screaming, “Get the fuck out of here!”

Sweatband, the goon who runs the car park, comes out of his old Winnebago, and yells at Ace. Whatever Ace says isn’t making Sweatband happy because the goon punches Ace in the face and has his boys drag him back to the tanker truck. Sweatband says, “Alright fuckers, what’s the commotion over here?”

Ace doesn’t know. Spoonman is still screaming. Rat is fixated on the confrontation.

I open my brain and find myself in a brightly lit paradise of food, drink, and household goods. Mind numbing muzak loops endlessly as I push a wire cart. One of the rear wheels is loose, rattling and pulling as I turn the corner to walk past a little old lady trying to hand me a block of cheese on a toothpick. A distant voice says, “Clean up in Aisle 5” when I realize that I’m in aisle five. A glass has fallen off the shelf and spilled black goo all over the floor, sizzling and melting the linoleum. My cart is full. The goo starts to crawl toward me. The jars are shaking, moving toward me as they fall off the shelf and onto the floor. I run…

Back in the car park, Sweatband tries dragging Ace toward the goo. Spoonie yells at them, “Don’t get any closer!” Me and SPD pull our weapons out to protect Ace. Sweatband stops.

Spoonie and Rat spray diesel around the goo. Spoon lights it on fire. Faintly, we hear a high pitched screaming noise. I follow Spoonie up the cargo net to see Captain Crook with five guys from the Tubas. She asks about the truck and Spoonie tells her that “there’s evil inside of it.”

I cut to the chase and ask for compensation for the lost bikes and riders. She says that she’ll send us to Hawkeye for the meds. She offers 50 gallons of diesel each and her good graces (2 barter). Spoonie asks for crash test dummies. The Captain looks quizzically and says, “Look in Sparta for that.”

I go to Hawkeye for some pills. The old coot peers at us through his goggles and cackles madly. I get something big and orange, chase it down with something green that smells like a truck stop whore’s cooch, and get the hell out of there before Hawkeye tries to run some tests.

Back in the parking lot, SPD and I are mounted up, ready to ride to Sparta. Spoonie is inspecting the vehicles we stole from the raiders last night. Ace shows up wearing a coat and no pants. He looks like he’s ready to party with Satan’s Prom Date.

• • Music: I’m too sexy by LMFAO

We ride for Sparta. I throw out a screen in front of us to scout for anyone else on the road. We get turned around in the dunes of the Waste. We chew through supplies and time by the time we sort it out, but Rat and Spoonie bail us out.

While we’re traveling, Spoonman builds a pair of stun mitts. Ace volunteers to help him test them out. While they play, I dream.

The distant voice says “For the next five minutes, everything with a red tag is 90% off!” I don’t know what that means but a crowd appears and starts ripping everything off the shelves, trampling the weak as they grab for the moist towelettes and toilet brushes. I rush around filling my cart. Suddenly, I’m in an aisle full of tortillas and salsa standing on top of the cheese lady screaming out a thrash metal anthem when I wake up.

• • Music: Lady Judas by Lady Gaga and Judas Priest

I discover that Spoonie has implanted amplification into my vocal chords. I call it the vox box. (+1 forward on the next Pack Alpha, but I need batteries to power it) The result is that I speak in a hoarse whisper to conserve battery power, unless I need to use it.

Sparta turns out to be an old container ship on its side. Lots of the containers spilled onto the desert and are now shanties. I follow Spoonie into the market. I figure that I should pick up batteries at every opportunity. And gigs. Need those to pay for the batteries.

I’ve been to Hold before. I had a deal with Dremer over some weapons. He gave me Saturday night specials but wanted HK prices. He wasn’t happy when I paid what I thought was a fair price. We’ll see how his memory is. I ask around to see if there’s anyone else who doesn’t like him.

I see Bully, the market manager, and his thugs talking with the Rat. They go into the Pitt, a bar run by Nabs.

I talk with Korbeau, who rides with SPD, and he has a solar cell trickle charger. I give him 2 barter but when I try to exert my Pack Alpha the vox box sparks and emits blue smoke. I kill Baseball to seal the deal with Korbeau. Baseball’s sister, Softball, is going to be a problem, but I’ve got other problems right now. I can’t talk.

Amidst it all, I think we’re being followed. We head to the Jukebox, my favorite dive bar. Avery, the barkeep, is still there. The Rat Pack music is blaring and my favorite singer, Delilah is climbing up on stage. We see the guy who was following us poke his head in and then run.

Delilah is singing. I’m writing down comments for Phineas Phogg to speak for me. Dremer comes into the Jukebox. Fifi is with him. The music stops. Dremer is acting like a hardon but I let Fifi know that my vox box is non-op.

I invite Dremer to sit and think about a Han Solo him, but he sees it coming and hits me in the nuts. I drop my weapon. Dremer tells Fifi to waste me and starts walking out. I quickly write her a message that says, “I’ll make it up to you.” When Phineas says it, Dremer senses that something is going on and comes back.

Things are going south, Dremer wants to know who’s going to pay my debt. Fifi puts a gun to my head. Ace shouts that he’ll pay the 2 barter, but I loose my magnum. Dremer lets me know that we’re square and orders a drink for the house before walking into the street. Fifi convinces me that she was just playing a role.